I was going to title this blog entry ‘Winter Break’, but let’s be real. It hasn’t been a break for me at all!
In fact, just because I’m not currently abiding at my residence in Flagstaff, Arizona, doesn’t mean I’m not entirely busy. I think just listing out everything will be absolutely therapeutic for me.
1. I’ve had two winter online courses just to keep my scholarship this year. In total, they cost me about $1600, which has been plaguing me, to say the least. At this point, however, I’m done with most of all the work. Just a brief essay and a final are left to me. They’re also due in a week, so I’m not too concerned.
2. Taking care of my sister. It’s been a hassle. She periodically makes trips to the pantry and the fridge to get herself food which she absolutely does NOT need.
Well, there are other things, but I don’t want to overwhelm myself talking about them. This winter session has definitely been a means for me to assess my current mental and physical condition. I’m doing well at working out, surprisingly. I’m not really keeping up with my medicine, even though I know I’m supposed to.
Sparkles and warm-colored flowers still adorn my living room. I’ll feel a little empty when the holiday cheer completely fades. This Christmas went by too fast for me. I didn’t get to really enjoy my moments because of the dumb classes weighing me down. But a nice gas fire is silently burning next to me in my living room which I just dusted. I cleaned my kitchen and lit several candles. It’s how I cope; clean, light a candle, and write. These are very important tasks.
The words ‘culture’ and ‘Bannock’ are swirling around in my mind; I’m saturated with anthropology after eight straight hours of online reading and coursework today. The culture is from my coursework, but Bannock holds a different meaning. Even writing about the kid will give power to the situation, which I don’t want. For now, I will be ambiguous and say that Bannock isn’t just the name of a certain tribe which has had cross-cultural struggles in its history.
In all its rustic splendour, my house is quite nice when it’s clean. I guess I like being awake at 1 am to the sound of the dishwasher which I set and the glow of the single kitchen light. My home is well established with me in it. I can’t exercise my control on everything, so I clean my surroundings, hoping to gain a little control.
I discovered that I am a control freak. And it’s okay. Along with my addictive personality, bipolar tendencies and my racing thoughts, I am just the kind of person who should stay in a corner and never come out to see the light of day.
I will divulge why I’m happy, though.
My friend Thomas told me he misses me. I’m best friends on Snapchat with an engineering genius; I’m his only Snapchat best friend. One of my dearest friends from San Diego is flying in tomorrow to see me. The real party begins then. I got to see the tribe at a wedding. (If that doesn’t make sense, look deeper.) I got a NIKON for Christmas; a really, really, really nice camera. I just finished most of my online classes, with A’s in tow. I have about two weeks left of break. I haven’t had a nervous breakdown in quite a while. I’m doing well.
Now, if I could just record all the hours I’ve taken care of my sister and cash in, I’ll be back in order. Everything is going well.
All in all, I can still churn out magnificent essays at will, so that’s good to know. My school recognized me in a scholarship campaign article- so at least I know someone believes in me… even if it is just the institution which I attend.
What can I say to wrap up this most-certainly random article? Perhaps this:
Everyone loads the dishwasher their own way. What’s right to you may not be right to someone else. It also probably depends on the machine itself.
Sleep well.
Sarah
Sarah Means Princess 