It was about 2 years ago that I was standing with a friend of mine. And she was wondering aloud –
“I just realized something, Sarah” .
“What’s that?”
“I know why I’m always upset with them.”
“Why?”
“Well, they’re selfish friends, Sarah. Think about it. I’ve never had such selfish friends.”
It’s two years later and I’m lying in bed with one of my friends. Have we known eachother for long? No. But she’s one of those who you meet and in two seconds you fall in love. I’ll tell you when I realized that she and I were meant to be roommates, but more importantly- friends forever.
We had just moved in together and got an invite to another girl’s house. So we went. I was telling the girl about my recent trip to Sweden. My excitement, I felt, was bubbling over. Her response was nothing short of rude. She didn’t want me to be excited & everything coming out of her mouth was mostly discouraging.
I looked over at my current roommate and she smiled, gently. I knew then that she was on my side and would soon acknowledge the disgraceful conversation later on, offering me words of support and comfort.
On my side.
Your friends should be on your side. Sometimes, being on someone’s side doesn’t mean taking up against an enemy, but perhaps being on the side that will be good for your soul. Friends are on your side and at your side. Friends tell you things you need to hear, but know when comfort is necessary. They fudge a little, give you the benefit of the doubt, but tell you when you’re being ridiculous.
Friends fudge a little, making friendship richer.
And friendships vary in several degrees. You can be close enough to use the toilet in front of them, but not ever talk about your political views.
They can be your coffee date every week, but never talk about family problems.
They can be your professor, and that’s all.
And it’s always okay to fall in love with your friends, too. Because they’re looking out for your soul and the soul is that which can feel love, when it’s real. Take a guy you’ve known for most of your adolescent life – that is, since you were 10 years old, or so- but were never close to. At the very most, you maybe saw him three times a year at social events.
And then he moved to the town where you go to college & still, you didn’t expect anything from him. But one day, you decided that the both of you should have coffee together- you had no close friends in common, or really any reason to meet- but something said ‘Have coffee with him’ . So you did. And it was good.
He bailed on you the next two times, but you didn’t mind because, again, you expected nothing. After that, you were-strangely enough- good friends. Texts were scarce, but when you saw him in person, it was good. In the winter, you got a photo with him & thought nothing of it. When you printed the photo out later, you hung it on your fridge.
Again, you thought nothing of it, because you weren’t thinking about him that way. And for whatever reason, it was acceptable for a picture of you two to be hanging on the fridge. You didn’t really ask yourself why.
Time passed, slowly- surely- but also, you couldn’t keep up. Finally, spring time came around and you both spent time in the southernmost parts of your state. And in 3 days, a 4 hour car ride and 20 minutes at your house, you realized that you cared about him a little more and a little differently than you did most of the guys around you.
And when he hugged you, he lay his head on yours because, obviously, he’s a lot taller than you. You never expressed anything, because it seemed there was a mutual understanding about being on the same page.
Before summer, the last time you saw him, he said “I love you” as you were walking about the door.
After a while, you felt like you really loved his soul and couldn’t remember what life was like without him. Then, you called him over the summer and texted him after saying ‘I forgot to say I love you’. You Facetime’d him before you left to Europe and he made you smile more than you’d smiled the whole summer. He’d text you every Wednesday and Sunday, which are your favorite days of the week. And that’s all you needed to know he cared.
Knowing every single thing about his life was just not necessary.
When he came back for the fall semester, you saw him and knew something had changed. You felt nervous to see him, and he looked somewhat bewildered himself.
From then on, you were on a rollercoaster. And you still are. But one thing is for certain- maybe some feelings won’t persist. But he’s always watching out for your soul, and therefore, will always be your friend.
Photo credit- Lyn
There are, of course, other friends of different count and caliber. And the great thing is, you don’t have to choose a best one. I gave up on that notion a long time ago. A best friend is not exactly a good thing to have– how can you measure the love you have for your friends? No. Best friends no longer exist. Rather, they never did.
Until next time.
Sarah
Sarah Means Princess 