Seeing Life with open eyes

Dear Readers,

If you exist, that’s nice. Yet the existence of a small reader population does not lighten the academic burden that I bear.

How does one juggle Physics, Infectious Disease, Medical Microbiology, research applications, teaching two freshman-level college labs, and their own sanity? I’d say: carefully. But, I’m not all that careful either. I think the best way to go about things is with the mindset of ‘I shall do this.’ It is going to happen for me. Doesn’t matter how many emails I have to send, how many phone numbers I have to call, or how many miles I have to run in the freezing cold. I’m going to be successful.

I do have an illness, I think. I am… a perfectionist? You could say that. In other words, everything needs to go according to plan and I have to have perfect grades and if I don’t get a 105/100 on an exam, I’m failing. It’s just how I am, and I don’t know how I got to be this way because no one in my family is as crazy as I am.

So how do I keep my mind intact? Well, I have small moments of joy.

A run at the gym.

Lying in the north quad of my university campus in lush grass, laughing with a man who I care very much about.

Seeing my students and waving at them.

Drinking an occasional soda.

Naps.

Singing opera in the shower.

Joking about diapers with my professor.

So I’m not participating in all the things that 99% of humans think are so important. So? My life is difficult, yet it is more full than I can describe with my vocabulary. It is vivid and clear, it is filled with exhaustion- but I believe that true essence of life is not to skate around with everything going your way.

It is making mistakes, crying, being humiliated by your own naivety- and then it is victory, laughing uncontrollably, and being praised for your goodness.

It is to hear a ‘thanks’ when you hold open a door, or pour someone a glass of coffee.

It is noticing small things that you think only you can see, and then realizing that other people see them, too.

It is hitting the right note on a piano, finishing a book, climbing a mountain and watching a sunset.

Such richness does our life offer, but do we take it for granted? Do people drink away that most precious reality, to come into a falseness where their troubles are momentarily gone? Why would you sacrifice the pain and also sacrifice the true joy? You cannot appreciate good things without loss.

Do you carelessly squander the trust people have given you? Do you ever stop and truly listen to what people are saying? Do you actually care to know how someone is? 

I suppose I can go on and on, but what is true is never easy and what is easy is never true. So how do I manage hard work? I envision the pay-off that lies ahead, and I savor the good moments at my fingertips.

For the Love of Words

Well, I’m back. Post-breakup. Guess what brought me back to life? WORDS! Of my friends, of God, of books!

And I’m better than ever. I have more energy, I feel. And let me tell you all the extraordinary things people have been saying to me.

‘Sarah, I can see by your countenance that you haven’t been running.’ -Brad Hepner

Moral of said quote: I need to start exercising again. Ian Mills said: MAKE time. Well, if I could MAKE time, I’d be immortal or something.

I was playing with words, and reading through my journal; I found a brilliant quote from myself.–>

‘Ian is complacent & Lyn is complaisant.’ Here is a perfect example of what you can do with the English language. If you would look up the definition of these two words, you could then understand a key personality difference between these two humans in my life. Now, ofcourse, Ian isn’t truly complacent, but fundamentally, these words paint a picture with which I cannot argue.

‘We have bad farts, but good hearts’ -My roommates. I feel this speaks for itself. I, however, would like to say that I am not included in this ‘we’. But, I do have a good heart. 😉 Flatulence is a touchy subject for even the most despicable.

‘He was a million miles from a million dollars, but you could never spend his wealth.’ – One Republic.

Said quote is one that describes my life to a T. (A tee? A tea? I don’t know.)

Here is a bit of wisdom that I have learned and would like to share with the fellow human race:

When people are offended by something you’ve said, it’s because they know/believe it’s true and it upsets them that you pointed it out.

Here are a few rules to abide by, if you are character building:

1. Be your own person. There’s already a version of everyone else. You’re an original. Literally, no one else has the same DNA. Think about that one.

2. Have your own opinions, but know that your opinions are not end-all. It’s foolish to think so.

3. Learn to think. Read “The Little Blue Thinking Book” by Brandon Royal. You won’t regret purchasing this and perhaps passing it on to your loved ones, eventually.

4. Coffee isn’t THE way, but it is A way. And an EFFECTIVE way, at that.

5. Invest in cleaning supplies. A dirty floor is a sad, sad, sad floor.

6. Brush your hair out. It really makes a difference.

And finally-

7. Never forget and always remember that when someone loves you, you’ll know it. Love is a tremendous thing.

Yours, truly.

 

“Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.” -Albus Dumbledore

 

The Health Benefits of Words & Reading

Good morning, good evening, and good night! 

Today, I’ve been really feeling the literature, the words, the pages, the books, the library, the agenda, the lists, the pens- and all associated materials and concepts. Plus, Michael mentioned something to me about Barnes and Noble, which reminded me of how much I love the smell of that store. Were it a perfume, I’d buy it. Because I’m weird like that, but I feel no shame. 

I went to the library today for the first time in over a year. It was refreshing and liberating. You see, you’re standing in front of a seemingly-endless collection of books and you can have as many as you want. That’s right: as many as you want. Free. Free information. You have no excuse for ignorance anymore, and that’s final! PS, as I write this, my hands are shaking from the iced caramel macchiato I had earlier today. 

So anyway, I started thinking that I really need to pull myself together. I started fresh with a new planner today, my list written and carefully completed throughout the day. 

Here’s a little bit about who I am, which you can derive from the books I checked out. 

I picked ‘The Checklist Manifesto’ by Atul Gawande, a surgeon/role model guy. If I research him further, I’ll probably blog about him, but for now I need to finish this new book and finish reading another novel of his called ‘Better’. It’s about work in the medical field. It is relevant to my career path. Then, I picked out a film called ‘Lincoln’. I’m sweet on Abraham Lincoln- another topic I’ll probably have to blog about. I found a couple random CD’s, as it is my constant journey to find new music. My neurons are hungry for new sound, I’m sorry Katy Perry- you are not the sound I want to hear anymore. 

Then, for my right brain appetite, I picked out a book called Decorate with Flowers- which I love flowers more than life. However, since flowers are full of life, that sentence doesn’t quite make sense, but make of it what you will. Flower and interior design are two of my little hobbies, I’d like to think. So you’ll find me reading Better Homes and Gardens, decorating magazines, and browsing Michael’s and Hobby Lobby with wonder in my eyes. How you choose to decorate your environment is so crucial. Why not have fun with it? 

I brought my little cousin and sister with me, so they could pick out books. Book reading is what turns people into geniuses, I strongly believe. The more you read, the more you write, the more you think, the more you understand and the more eloquent you become. It’s fantastic. I will, therefore, instill a passion for words in the hearts of my young friends while they are still pliable. 

When you need new ideas, new perspectives- well, books are your complaisant friends. You can reread them, you can highlight in them, write on them, tear pages out and frame the pages… you can burn them, you can even write them yourself. You can do whatever you want with books, because if you change your mind about how you feel, you can just go buy a fresh copy. I never want to be someone who has a bookshelf with unread books. That is just wrong. So wrong. 

Since this is about books and format and grammar and words, I will have a conclusion.

In conclusion,

I love books and I love reading and I love writing. Words give me wings to soar above others who choose to limit themselves to cursing and shaming other people. They are so stagnant and sad, I feel. So when you want to lose yourself and better your mind, open a book. You might be surprised that you will find yourself at home among the little ink’ed letters.